The Unpremeditated Snapshot

Posted on November 5, 2009

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It was a poetic morning – birds chirping in a harmonious symphony, the air was infused with the scent of fresh foliage; undermined only by the intoxicating aroma of freshly brewed coffee, and to top it off an innate sense of well being, energy, and optimism possessed Shirley. It caught her completely unaware and hopelessly defenseless. Yet Shirley wasn’t complaining although she was a little suspicious of this unexpected surge of “I can conquer the world” optimism, that came without any viable rational source – like the patronizing motivating posters which did nothing but annoy the hell out of her.

She though what most of us – eternally damned realists would normally view as a sign to lie on the couch again, “Oh, what the hell!”. Shirley shuddered at the thought of thinking, after all it’s was what got her into this unholy mess in the first place. She did it again; she wondered enthusiastically, “It’s a wonderful feeling to live in the moment…right?” It was a voice she hadn’t heard in quite a long time, she recognized it or at least she thought she did. She thought she’d try listening to this voice, because after all the people who adopted ‘the live in the moment’ lifestyle always seemed to wear a smile and insist that they too haven’t escaped from the mental asylum after being injected with a strong dose of anti-psychotics; nor were they evil clones of “The Joker” with a sinister plan that involved mass destruction of retinas by brandishing their impeccable shinny pearly-whites. There it was again…Shirley’s thought,” Come on, if it works for them…”

She finally smiled without any allopathic aid – it didn’t work. She knew she had to try harder; nobody deserved it more than her. She tried some vocal stimulation, ” I can do this, it doesn’t matter if I am bogged down by paralyzing stress that come or with the uncertainty of a stable future, bad job, bankruptcy, overwhelming responsibilities and this unending fear of being stranded in a state of stasis.”

As she pondered further over the possibility of living in this new found carefree world, the sun came up a notch and the cool early morning breeze now started to feel a bit warmer. It came to her effortlessly – Shirley laid flat on her bed facing the open window in a trance like state of morphine-induced euphoric-epiphany, watching the day unfold. She watched the light emerging from the cold embrace of the dark – for a while the banal ritual of watching the sun rising was almost liberating. Gradually it got brighter, too bright, almost like a two hundred watt bulb thrust in the face during a hostile interrogation. It was anything but pleasant.

Suddenly everything she was trying to avoid, forget, and erase invaded this state of contentment and demanded a confrontation. Shirley tried to do the impossible all over again avoid, forget, and erase all the issues, decisions and everything else that had decided to join the bandwagon. It didn’t work this time. She was pinned with the weight of everything she was trying to avoid, forget, and erase; while at the same time lying paralyzed with hope insisting on being cruel. Her body unconsciously fought this unwarranted intrusion with pangs of pain that soon spread all over the body like a swarm of hungry locust on fertile land – and refused to be ignored. The melody of birds chirping was soon replaced by a deplorable raucous crowing that seemed to be clearing it vocal pathway after devouring its musically inclined cousins.

Reality insisted on being noticed, and Shirley was trying her hardest to avoid it. She noticed the clock ticking, she wished it would stop, it refused. The final straw was delivered by the loud honking that seemed to assist the universe to destroy her inner sanctum. She knew she could no longer compete against it.

Right then, she heard an unholy screech that sounded uncannily similar to Tarzan’s jungle cry mimicked by a deranged horny gorilla, she recognized it and decided to find the source. It soon got louder and louder…until it became unbearable. This was it; in that very moment, her right hand instigated an assault on a nearby device. Unwittingly she found herself being thrust into a conscious world – leaving behind a place that offered her a glimpse into what seemed like a morphine-induced heaven, she knew she wasn’t going to enjoy her stay.

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